Ever finally done something you’ve been putting off for ages - only to realise it was actually easy, fun, or just not that scary?
Yep, you’re not alone.

We tell ourselves stories all the time that just aren’t true, but we often don’t see them for what they are - just made up. Stories designed by our brains to protect us from ourselves, from the unknown, from the (potentially) scary and difficult stuff.

It happened to me just recently. In a rare and random attack of bravery, I put on my big girl pants and did something I’ve dreamed of for almost forty years…and have since spent many hours wondering what took me so flipping long! 

What Have I Learned From This?

• That not everything I think is actually true
• There’s a whole big wild world out there, full of fun experiences waiting to be had
• How acknowledging my wins and successes is an easy route to being braver
• That life in general is one giant metaphor for setting up a new business

Since my teens, I have always dreamed of watching a performance at The Minack Theatre in Cornwall (if you’re not familiar with it, take a peek at the link, it’s utterly magical)
For most of my life it seemed like an impossible dream: it was so far away, I’d look silly going by myself, who would look after the kids, pets? etc. etc. Lots of excuses, but no real reasons. Yep, I got in my own way. For years. 

The biggest ‘reason’ for avoiding it though? It’s the sort of experience I wanted to have with a significant other. I’ve been single for a long time and have convinced myself that there are certain things that would be better shared, as half of a couple. 

The really sad thing is that there are lots of other experiences and places that I’ve put away in that same ‘too hard’ box, tied it up with a big red ribbon and shoved it into a dark corner of the dusty attic that is my mind.

And do you know what? This exact thinking shows up for loads of us in business too – especially if you're trying to do it all on your own.

Why is that sad? Because I had THE BEST day I have had in a very long time! Yes, there were a couple of moments that the thought crossed my mind that it would be nice to have someone to share it with, to pass me a tissue when the magic of the venue got the better of me and I had a little cry.

But would that really have happened? Nope. Let’s get real - the tissues would have been in my Mary Poppins handbag, along with the hat-stand and the kitchen sink, not in Mr. Right’s pocket. Another story I told myself.

I was put in a fantastic ‘press seat’ because I was there on my own. The show that I saw was amazing (bonkers, but amazing). An adaptation of A Midsummer Night’s Dream, set in a Burnley Working Man’s Club in the 1970’s. Utterly fabulous - and all the better for starring an old workmate I hadn’t seen in about 10 years - but that’s another story.

I was on such a high afterwards that the three hour drive home was spent with the windows down and a playlist of 70’s disco turned up loud. Apologies to the good folk of Cornwall and Devon, that wasn’t your firstborn being brutally slaughtered, just me singing. Loudly. And badly.

What’s In Your ‘Too Hard Box’? (And How To Empty It)

I’d like to set you a challenge - pick just one thing that you’ve been putting off. It doesn’t have to be a big one…

Step 1: Understand why you want it (and why you’re avoiding it)

Is the story you’ve associated with it really true? What’s the worst thing that can happen if you have a go, does anyone actually die? My guess is, probably not.

Is the regret you’ll have for not doing it, greater than the effort it’ll take? Don’t be lying on your death-bed wishing you’d made it happen - we only regret the things we didn’t do.

Step 2: A dream without a plan is just a wish

What baby-steps would get you closer to achieving it? Write them down and put a realistic timeline on it. Hell, even put a much longer timeline than you know it’ll take - just starting a plan will make it seem easier. Maybe it’s not quite as intimidating as you’ve built it up to be in your head.

Step 3: Just F*cking Do It (JFDI)

Just start. Do something that inches you closer to the end goal, take one of those baby steps.
In my example, I just booked a ticket - simple as that. Having taken that first tiny step, the rest seemed so much easier.

Remind Yourself Who You Are

If you have a ‘too hard box’ (and I suspect we all do), reflect on some of the things you’ve already done or achieved in your life. You might surprise yourself.

Just over five years ago, I moved 250 miles away from everything I knew, completely on my own. In the years since though, my life has shrunk considerably - and my confidence with it - chronic illness is a b*tch.

What happened to the woman I used to be? She’s still in there somewhere.
This experience has reminded me of who I am and what I’m capable of, so despite the fact that it doesn’t feel easy, I’ll be stretching the boundaries of my new (shrunken) comfort zone more and more - and so can you.

What’s Next?

Have a good long think about where you’ve been playing it small in your life.
How have you held yourself back?
I’d love to hear about it, if you want to share (it’ll make me feel far less alone too!). 

Oh, and (*suddenly remembers why she’s here) if one of the items in your long forgotten ‘too hard box’ involves setting up a business, or getting an existing one back on track - drop me a message below. I’d love to help you find the words that make it easier.

Remember - JFDI! You've got this :)